“My philosophy
like colour TV
is all there
in black and white”
Monty Python

Quotes, Aphorisms, Laws, and Thoughts
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 A bachelor is someone who never makes the same mistake once. 
 A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. 
 A man needs a mistress, just to break the monogamy. 
 A mother-in-law dies only when another devil is needed in hell. 
 A woman who takes her husband about with her everywhere is like a cat that goes on playing with a mouse long after she's killed it. 
 Adultery breathes new life into marriages which have been left for dead. 
 Alimony: bounty after the mutiny. 
 Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same thing. 
 Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong. 
 Don't marry for money; it's cheaper to borrow it. 
 I married beneath me. All women do. 
 I shall marry in haste and repeat at leisure. 
 I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. 
 If I don't marry her, I won't marry anyone. At least, hardly anyone. 
 If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. 
 It is better to have loved and lost than to have loved and married. 
 It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty every day than to say pretty things from time to time. 
 Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success. 
 Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures. 
 Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? 
 Marriage is an attempt to change the night owl into a homing pigeon. 
 Marriage is grand but divorce is a hundred grand. 
 Marriage is not a word but a sentence. 
 Marriage is popular because it provides the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity. 
 Marriage means commitment but so does insanity. 
 Marriage without love means love without marriage. 
 Monogamy leaves a lot to be desired. 
 My toughest fight was with my first wife. 
 Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near. 
 No one knows what true happiness is until they get married but by then, of course, it's too late. 
 None of us can boast about the morality of our ancestors; the records do not show that Adam and Eve were married. 
 So heavy is the chain of wedlock that it takes two to carry it, sometimes three. 
Les chaînes du mariage sont si lourdes qu'il faut être deux pour les porter ; quelquefois trois.
 The critical period in matrimony is breakfast-time. 
 The happiest time of anyone's life is just after the first divorce. 
 The trouble with wedlock is that there's not enough wed and too much lock. 
 There are few who would not rather be taken in adultery than in provincialism. 
 Very few trial separations don't work. 
 We wedded men live in sorrow and care. 
 What men call gallantry and gods adultery
Is much more common where the climate's sultry. 
 When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have in-laws. 
 When you see what some girls marry, you realise how much they must hate to work for a living. 
 You cannot pluck roses without fear of thorns,
Nor enjoy a fair wife without danger of horns.