66Quote99
“My philosophy
like colour TV
is all there
in black and white”
Monty Python

Quotes, Aphorisms, Laws, and Thoughts
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Life

 1. You can't win.
2. You can't break even.
3. You can't even quit the game. 
 A man and his loves make a man and his life. 
 A solved problem creates two new problems, and the best prescription for happy living is not to solve any more problems than you have to. 
 Alcohol is the anaesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. 
 Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down. 
 Between too early and too late, there is never more than a moment. 
 Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit. 
 Coito ergo sum. 
 Common sense is what tells you that the world is flat. 
 Do not take life too seriously – you will never get out of it alive. 
 Everyone has three lives: a public life, a private life, and a secret life. 
 For there is no error so crooked, but it hath in it some lines of truth; Nor is any poison so deadly, that it serveth not some wholesome use. 
 Give us the luxuries of life and we will willingly dispense with its necessities. 
 He had decided to live on forever or die in the attempt. 
 How can they say my life is not a success? Have I not for more than sixty years got enough to eat and escaped being eaten? 
 I am a man of no convictions; at least I think I am. 
 I am – yet what I am none cares or knows. 
 I have come to the conclusion, after many years of sometimes sad experience, that you cannot come to any conclusion at all. 
 I like pigs: dogs look up to us; cats look down on us; pigs treat us as equals. 
 If we see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's the light of an oncoming train. 
 If you're not confused, you're misinformed. 
 It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. 
 Just when you think you've finally hit bottom, someone tosses you an anchor. 
 Let's think the unthinkable, let's do the undoable, let's prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all. 
 Life always comes to a bad end. 
 Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge. 
 Life is a beach, and then you drown. 
 Life is a jest; and all things show it.
I thought so once; but now I know it. 
 Life is a tragedy wherein we sit as spectators for a while and then act out our part in it. 
 Life is halfe spent before we know what it is. 
 Life is just one damn thing after another. 
 Life is like a dog sled team: if you're not the lead dog, the scenery never changes. 
 Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on. 
 Life is like riding a bicycle: to keep your balance you must keep moving. 
 Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises. 
 Life is the whim of several billion cells to be you for a while. 
 Life must go on.
I forget just why. 
 Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave. 
 Life's too short for chess. 
 Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler. 
 May you live all the days of your life. 
 Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets. 
 Men live as if they were never going to die, and die as if they had never lived. 
 Monday is an awful way to spend one seventh of your life. 
 Most of what matters in our lives takes place in our absence. 
 Music is essentially useless, as life is. 
 No one owns life, but anyone who can pick up a frying pan owns death. 
 Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. 
 Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result. 
 Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all. 
 People wait all week for Friday, all year for summer, and all their life for happiness. 
 Start slow and taper off. 
 The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing. 
 The exit is usually where the entrance was. 
 The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children. 
 The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. 
 The happiest time of anyone's life is just after the first divorce. 
 The moving finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all your piety nor wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a line,
Nor all your tears wash out a word of it. 
 The purpose of life is to create and to procreate. 
 The world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel. 
 There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation. 
 There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in. 
 There is but one step from the sublime to the ridiculous. 
 There is more to life than increasing its speed. 
 There is no evidence to support the idea that life is serious. 
 There is no need for signposts in the journey of life since the destination is always the same. 
 This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic. 
 Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter. 
 Though I am not what I ought to be, nor what I wish to be, nor what I hope to be, I can truly say, I am not what I once was. 
 To my embarrassment, I was born in bed with a lady. 
 To those who think that the law of gravity interferes with their freedom, there is nothing to say. 
 Turn on, tune in, drop out. 
 We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. 
 We are born naked, wet and hungry; then things get worse. 
 When all is said and done, more is said than done. 
 Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one is watching. 
 You will either step forward into growth, or you will step backward into safety.