“My philosophy
like colour TV
is all there
in black and white”
Monty Python

Quotes, Aphorisms, Laws, and Thoughts
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 A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say. 
 Buses stop at bus stations, trains at train stations, and my desk has a workstation. 
 Doing nothing is tiring because you can't stop to rest. 
 Even a mosquito doesn't get a slap on the back until it starts to work. 
 I always arrive late to work, but I make up for it by leaving early. 
 I do most of my work sitting down. That's where I shine. 
 I like work, I can sit and watch it for hours. 
 I sell my time to get enough money to buy it back. 
 I'm not complaining about coming to work but about the eight hour wait to go home. 
 If a project is not worth doing at all, it's not worth doing well. 
 If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play. 
 It's hard to be efficient without appearing to be obnoxious. 
 Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. 
 My ambition is handicapped by my laziness. 
 Once you’ve started, you’re halfway there. 
Initium est dimidium facti
 People used to wear ordinary clothes weekdays, and formal attire on Sunday; today it is the exact reverse. 
 People who do the world's real work don't usually wear ties. 
 People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up. 
 Sexual harassment at work – is it a problem for the self-employed? 
 The night before a day off is better than the day off itself. 
 The only person who got his work done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe. 
 There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group, there is less competition. 
 They also serve who only stand and wait. 
 Too many people are ready to carry the stool when the piano needs to be moved. 
 We, the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much, for so long, with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing. 
 When I was young I was poor and after years of hard work I am no longer young. 
 Work is the curse of the drinking classes. 
 Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one is watching. 
 You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.