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❝My philosophy
like colour TV
is all there
in black and white❞
Monty Python

Quotes, Aphorisms, Laws, and Thoughts


A camel is a horse designed by a committee.

A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.

A woman who takes her husband about with her everywhere is like a cat that goes on playing with a mouse long after she's killed it.
H.H. Munro (Saki) (1870-1916)

Cows are vegetarian so you don't have to be.

Dublin is a city where you can see a sparrow fall to the ground, and God watching it.
Conor Cruise O'Brien (1917-2008)

Fish die belly-upward and rise to the surface; it is their way of falling.
André Gide (1869-1951)

Horse sense is what stops horses from betting on humans.

Horsepower was a wonderful thing when only horses had it.

I like pigs: dogs look up to us; cats look down on us; pigs treat us as equals.

I like sadism, necrophilia, and zoophilia. Am I flogging a dead horse?

If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a nonworking cat.
Douglas Adams (1952-2001)

Life is like a dog sled team: if you're not the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

Man is a dog's idea of what God should be.
Holbrook Jackson (1874-1948)

Mickey Mouse is a rat.

No horse goes as fast as the money you bet on him.

One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.

Only dead fish swim with the stream.
Malcom Muggeridge (1903-1990)

People who keep dogs are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
Henry James Byron (1834-1884)

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Steven Wright (1955- )

The goal of science is to build better mousetraps. The goal of nature is to build better mice.

The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.

The tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.
William Blake (1752-1827)

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