“My philosophy
like colour TV
is all there
in black and white”
Monty Python

Quotes, Aphorisms, Laws, and Thoughts
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Vices & Virtues

 A coward is a hero with a wife, children and a mortgage. 
 All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening. 
 Avarice is the sphincter of the heart. 
 Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good. 
 Courage is the fear of being thought a coward. 
 He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. 
 I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it. 
 It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues. 
 It is better to be a coward for one minute than dead the rest of your life. 
 It requires less mental effort to condemn than to think. 
 My smoking might be bothering you, but it's killing me. 
 My virtue's still far too small, I don't trot it out and about yet. 
 Never practice two vices at once. 
 Nothing succeeds like success. 
Rien ne réussit comme le succès.
 Of all the sexual aberrations, chastity is perhaps the strangest. 
De toutes les aberrations sexuelles, la plus singulière est peut-être encore la chasteté.
 Once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he comes next to drinking and sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination. 
 Our virtues are most frequently but vices in disguise. 
Nos vertus ne sont, le plus souvent, que de vices déguisés.
 People who keep dogs are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves. 
 Sometimes it is harder to deprive oneself of a pain than of a pleasure. 
 Temptation laughs at the fool who takes it seriously. 
 The evil that we do does not attract to us so much persecution and hatred as our good qualities. 
Le mal que nous faisons ne nous attire pas tant de persécution et de haine que nos bonnes qualités.
 There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton restless. 
 There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause. 
 They also serve who only stand and wait. 
 To say that a man is vain means merely that he is pleased with the effect he produces on other people. A conceited man is satisfied with the effect he produces on himself. 
 Very few reputations are gained by unsullied virtue. 
 Vice is its own reward. 
 Virtue has never been as respectable as money. 
 Virtue is its own revenge. 
 We often forgive those who bore us, but we cannot forgive those whom we bore. 
Nous pardonnons souvent à ceux qui nous ennuient, mais nous ne pouvons pardonner à ceux que nous ennuyons.
 When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better. 
 While having never invented a sin, I'm trying to perfect several.