“My philosophy
like colour TV
is all there
in black and white”
Monty Python

Quotes, Aphorisms, Laws, and Thoughts
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 A conservative is a politician who wants to keep what the liberals fought for a generation ago. 
 A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular. 
 A handful of soldiers is always better than a mouthful of arguments. 
 A liberal is a conservative who has gone to jail, and a conservative is a liberal who has been mugged. 
 A liberal is someone too poor to be a capitalist, and too rich to be a communist. 
 A liberal thinks that goats are just sheep from broken homes. 
 An honest politician is one who when he is bought will stay bought. 
 Banana Republic Constitution: Prohibido todo lo que no sea obligatorio. 
 Bread is the staff of life; toast a decadent capitalist luxury. 
 Congressmen are the finest body of men money can buy. 
 Conspiracy theories depend on the perpetrators being endlessly clever. The facts work if you assume everyone is endlessly stupid. 
 Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time. 
 Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. 
 Democracy means that my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge. 
 Don't vote, it only encourages them. 
 Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind the slime of a new bureaucracy. 
 For every action there is an equal and opposite government program. 
 Freedom is not free. 
 I am a Tory Anarchist; I should like every one to go about doing just as he pleased – short of altering any of the things to which I have grown accustomed. 
 I do not believe in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance. 
 I must follow them. I am their leader. 
 If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. 
Si 50 millions de personnes disent une bêtise, c'est quand même une bêtise.
 If I were two-faced would I be wearing this one? 
 If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal. 
 In a mature society, “civil servant” is semantically equal to “civil master”. 
 In order to become the master, the politician poses as the servant. 
 It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both. 
 It's not the voting that's democracy; it's the counting. 
 Men and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted. 
 Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad name. 
 Not to be a republican at twenty is proof of want of heart; to be one at thirty is proof of want of head. 
 Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate. 
 Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. 
 One fifth of the people are against everything all the time. 
 People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred. 
 People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. 
De bruger aldrig de friheder, de har, men fordrer dem, de ikke har; de har tænkefrihed, de fordrer ytringsfrihed.
 Politicians are like nappies, they should be changed regularly and for the same reason. 
 Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge where there is no river. 
 Politics and Religion are obsolete: the time has come for Science and Spirituality. 
 Politics is like being a football coach. You've got to be smart enough to play the game and dumb enough to think it is important. 
 Politics is the art of the possible. 
 Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac. 
 Pro is to con as progress is to Congress. 
 Taxes are not raised for the benefit of the taxed. 
 That is the nature of politics: poly, meaning more than one, and ticks, meaning blood-sucking parasites. 
 The secret of the demagogue is to appear as dumb as his audience so that these people can believe themselves as smart as he. 
 The supply of government exceeds the demand. 
 The tyrant dies and his rule is over, the martyr dies and his rule begins. 
Tyrannen dør, og hans magt har ende. Martyren dør, og hans magt begynder.
 Though liberals do a great deal of talking about hearing other points of view, it sometimes shocks them to learn that there are other points of view. 
 Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair. 
 Unhappy is the land that needs a hero. 
Unglücklich das Land, das Helden nötig hat.
 Vote for the man who promises least; he'll be the least disappointing. 
 We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate. 
 What luck for rulers that men do not think. 
 When a country is well governed, poverty and a mean condition are things to be ashamed of. When a country is ill governed, riches and honour are things to be ashamed of. 
 Why is it the Mongols of this world always tell us they're defending us against the Mongols? 
 You can build a throne with bayonets, but you can't sit on it for long.