“My philosophy
like colour TV
is all there
in black and white”
Monty Python

Quotes, Aphorisms, Laws, and Thoughts
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 After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. 
 Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. 
 Are you getting fit or having one? 
 Early to bed
Early to rise
These are the reasons
Why a man dies. 
 Early to rise and early to bed, makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead. 
 Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway. 
 Health food is anything you eat before the expiry date. 
 Health is having the same diseases as one's neighbours. 
 Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. 
 Hospital is a place where they wake you up to give you a sleeping pill. 
 I drive too fast to worry about cholesterol. 
 If I'd known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself. 
 If there were a vaccine against stupid, some would be too stupid to take it. 
 Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is. 
 Not many people are anti-ventilator. 
 One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. 
 Square meals often make round people. 
 The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. 
 There are only two reasons for anyone to run: away from enemies and to the toliet. 
 Viruses don't move; people move. 
 Whatever happens to you, it will previously have happened to everyone you know, only more so. 
 You can go the rest of your life without breathing.