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❝My philosophy
like colour TV
is all there
in black and white❞
Monty Python

Quotes, Aphorisms, Laws, and Thoughts


A pious man is one who would be an atheist if the king were.
Jean de La Bruyère (1645-1696)

All children are Atheists; they have no idea of God.
Baron d'Holbach (1723-1789)

An atheist is someone with no invisible means of support.
John Buchan (1875-1940)

Black holes are where god is dividing by zero.
Steven Wright (1955- )

Even God cannot change the past.
Agathon (448 BCE-400 BCE)

God does not play dice with the cosmos.
Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

God doesn't come when you want him but he's right on time.

God has always been hard on the poor.
Jean-Paul Marat (1743-1793)

God help those who do not help themselves.
Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)

God is a comic playing to an audience that's afraid to laugh.
Voltaire (1694-1778)

God is always invented to explain those things that you do not understand.
Richard Feynman (1918-1988)

God is dead and I want his job.

God is dead, Marx is dead, and I don't feel so well myself.
Eugène Ionesco (1909-1994)

God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.
Paul Valéry (1871-1945)

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform.
William Cowper (1731-1800)

God runs electromagnetics by wave theory on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and the Devil runs them by quantum theory on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.
Lawrence Bragg (1890-1971)

I'm still an atheist, thank God.
Luis Buñuel (1900-1983)

If God exists, that's his problem.

If God lived on earth, people would stone his windows.
Yiddish proverb

If there is a god watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

If triangles invented a god, they would make him three-sided.
Montesquieu (1689-1755)

In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light'; and there was still nothing, but everybody could see it.

Is man one of God's blunders, or is God one of man's?
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods.
H.L. Mencken (1880-1956)

Less is more. God is in the details.
Ludwig Mies van der Rohe (1886-1969)

Man has never been the same since God died.
Edna St Vincent Millay (1892-1950)

Man is a dog's idea of what God should be.
Holbrook Jackson (1874-1948)

Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child.
Robert A. Heinlein (1907-1988)

My atheism is true piety towards the universe and denies only gods fashioned by men in their own image, to be servants of their human interests.
George Santayana (1863-1952)

Suns are extinguished or become corrupted, planets perish and scatter across the wastes of the sky; other suns are kindled, new planets formed to make their revolutions or describe new orbits, and man, an infinitely minute part of a globe which itself is only an imperceptible point in the immense whole, believes that the universe is made for himself.
Baron d'Holbach (1723-1789)

The gods too are fond of a joke.
Aristotle (384 BCE-322 BCE)

The nearer the Church the further from God.
Lancelot Andrewes (1555-1626)

The only thing that stops God from sending a second Flood is that the first one was useless.
Nicolas Chamfort (1740-1794)

There ain't no devil, it's just god when he's drunk.
Tom Waits (1949- )

Those who don't believe in Gosh will go to Heck.

To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today.
Isaac Asimov (1920-1997)

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
Woody Allen (1935- )

Today evolution of human intelligence has advanced us to the stage where most of us are too smart to invent new gods but are reluctant to give up the old ones.
Ruth Green (1915-1981)

We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in; some of us just go one god further.
Richard Dawkins (1941- )

We are all godless but not all of us realise it.

When we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us, we're said to be schizophrenic.
Jane Wagner (1935- )

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