“My philosophy
like colour TV
is all there
in black and white”
Monty Python

Quotes, Aphorisms, Laws, and Thoughts
Слава Україні!

Eight quotes by W.C. Fields

William Claude Dukenfield (January 29, 1880 – December 25, 1946), better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields created a comic persona: a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs, children, and women.
 'Twas a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it. 
 After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. 
 Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. 
 Everybody has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink. 
 I never met a kid I liked. 
 Start every day with a smile and get it over with. 
 There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation. 
 What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork from my lunch? 

The author info is from Wikipedia, licensed under the GNU Free Documentation License.