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❝My philosophy
like colour TV
is all there
in black and white❞
Monty Python

Quotes, Aphorisms, Laws, and Thoughts

66Deep Thoughts99

'Onomatopoeia' is spelled the way it sounds.

A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.

A day without sunshine is like night.

A good hiding place is hard to find.

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.
Laozi (?-c500 BCE)

All that is gold does not glitter; nor all those that wander are lost.
J.R.R. Tolkien (1892-1973)

Arguments with furniture are rarely productive.
Kehlog Albran

Bad weather always looks worse through a window.
Tom Lehrer (1928- )

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)

Cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny.

Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.
Terry Pratchett (1948-2004)

Confusion never reigns but it pours.

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)

Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

For a string to have one end it must have another.

Geography is everywhere.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.

Great souls have wills; feeble ones have only wishes.
Chinese proverb

How can you know what you think until you open your mouth and hear what you say?

Humpty Dumpty was pushed.

I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.
Abraham Maslow (1908-1970)

I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.

I used to be conceited, but now I'm absolutely perfect.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

I'm pink, therefore I'm Spam.

I'm sorry I wrote you such a long letter; I didn't have time to write you a shorter one.
Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)

If the human brain were simple enough to understand, we'd be so simple we couldn't.
David Zindell (1952- )

If you try to fail and succeed, which have you achieved?

Ignorance is the mother of admiration.
George Chapman (1559?-1634)

In an infinite universe, every point in space-time is the center.
David Zindell (1952- )

In each of us there is a little of all of us.
Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742-1799)

In the beginning was the word. And the word was 'Aardvark'.

Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music.
Frank Zappa (1940-1993)

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.
Eugène Ionesco (1909-1994)

It isn't what people think that's important, but the reason they think what they think.
Eugène Ionesco (1909-1994)

It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

It was such a lovely day I thought it was a pity to get up.
Somerset Maugham (1874-1965)

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
Steven Wright (1955- )

It's always room-temperature.

It's not too far; it just seems like it is.

Lazy people have no spare time.

My shallowness is only skin deep.
Tom MacRae (1980- )

Never do anything standing that you can do sitting, or anything sitting that you can do lying down.
Chinese proverb

Never trust a man who, when left alone with a tea cosy, doesn't try it on.
Billy Connolly (1942- )

Never trust anybody who says trust me.

nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands.
E.E. Cummings (1894-1962)

Not enough is done for the apathetic.

Nothing starts with the letter “n” and nothing ends with the letter “g”.

Nothing, like something, happens anywhere.
Philip Larkin (1922-1985)

One hundred thousand lemmings can't be wrong.

One match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire.

Only dead fish swim with the stream.
Malcom Muggeridge (1903-1990)

Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible.

Segal's Law: A man with a watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never sure.

Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow.
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

Sick yaks leave light tracks.

So near and yet so what?

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

Sometimes I sits and thinks and sometimes I just sits.
William Gunning King (1859-1940)

Suns are extinguished or become corrupted, planets perish and scatter across the wastes of the sky; other suns are kindled, new planets formed to make their revolutions or describe new orbits, and man, an infinitely minute part of a globe which itself is only an imperceptible point in the immense whole, believes that the universe is made for himself.
Baron d'Holbach (1723-1789)

The bigger the box, the bigger the things that won't fit in it.

The information you have is not the information you want; the information you want is not the information you need; the information you need is not what you can get or is not known; the information that is known can't be found in time.

The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
Paul Fix (1901-1983)

The River of Ignorance covers most of my regrets.
Kehlog Albran

The superfluous is very necessary.
Voltaire (1694-1778)

The tire is only flat on the bottom.

There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them.
Werner Heisenberg (1901-1976)

While chain swings, seat is warm.

Whither atrophy?

Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?
La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680)

Why is there is only one Monopolies Commission?

Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away...
Hughes Mearns (1875-1965)

You are never alone with a clone.

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