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❝My philosophy
like colour TV
is all there
in black and white❞
Monty Python

Quotes, Aphorisms, Laws, and Thoughts

Picture of George Carlin. George Carlin in Trenton, New Jersey, on April 4th 2008

Five quotes by George Carlin

George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian and social critic, who won five Grammy Awards for his comedy albums.

❝Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.❞[+]

❝Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?❞[+]

❝Don't give your money to the church; they should be giving their money to you.❞[+]

❝Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.❞[+]

❝Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that.❞[+]

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