“My philosophy
like colour TV
is all there
in black and white”
Monty Python

Quotes, Aphorisms, Laws, and Thoughts
Слава Україні!

Men & Women

 A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't. 
 A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after. 
 A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 
 A woman can only become a man's friend in three stages: first, she's an agreeable acquaintance, then a lover, and only after that a friend. 
 A woman is a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. 
 A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. 
 Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. 
 Belladonna: In Italian, a beautiful lady; in English, a deadly poison. A striking example of the identity of the two tongues. 
 Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both. 
 Certain women should be struck regularly, like gongs. 
 Feminist Astronautics 101: If they can put one man on the moon, why can't they put them all? 
 Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. 
 Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you. 
 Husbands are like fires. They go out if left unattended. 
 I like men to behave like men: strong and childish. 
 I married beneath me. All women do. 
 I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back. 
 I only like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign. 
 I'm not denying that women are foolish; God Almighty made them to match the men. 
 If the world were a logical place, men would ride side-saddle. 
 If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. 
 Intuition: that strange instinct that tells a woman she is right, whether she is or not. 
 It's women like you who make men like me make women like you make men like me. 
 Man has his will, but woman has her way. 
 Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success. 
 Men always want to be a woman's first love, women like to be a man's last romance. 
 Men are like linoleum. If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for 20 years. 
 Most women are not so young as they are painted. 
 No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. 
 One is not born a woman, one becomes one. 
 She's descended from a long line her mother listened to. 
 The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. 
 The difference between men and boys is the price of their toys. 
 There are women who are not beautiful but only look that way. 
 When Adam delved and Eve span,
Who then was the gentleman? 
 When subjected to extreme feminine heat and pressure, male hydrocarbons will often produce a diamond. 
 When women go wrong, men go right after them. 
 Woman would be more charming if one could fall into her arms without falling into her hands. 
 Women like silent men; they think they're listening. 
 Women were born without a sense of humour, so they could love men and not laugh at them. 
 Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.