“My philosophy
like colour TV
is all there
in black and white”
Monty Python

Quotes, Aphorisms, Laws, and Thoughts
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The Psyche

 A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. 
 A neurotic builds castles in the air.
A psychotic lives in them.
A psychiatrist collects the rent. 
 A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. 
 All my life, I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific. 
 All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand. 
 Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. 
 Depression is merely anger without the enthusiasm. 
 Don't believe everything you think. 
 Either heaven or hell will have continuous background music. Which one you think it will be tells a lot about you. 
 He was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. 
 He who despises himself esteems himself as a self-despiser. 
 I am now cured of schizophrenia: but where am I now that I need me? 
 I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. 
 I have always been crazy, but it kept me from going insane. 
 If everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too. 
 In a real dark night of the soul it is always three o'clock in the morning, day after day. 
 Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy; I hear you ask. 
 It is with narrow-souled people as with narrow necked bottles: the less they have in them, the more noise they make in pouring it out. 
 Just because you are not paranoid doesn't mean somebody isn't out to get you. 
 Men will always be mad, and those who think they can cure them are the maddest of all. 
 My inferiority complex is not as good as yours. 
 Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. 
 Psychiatry is the care of the Id by the odd. 
 Psychoanalysis makes quite simple people feel they're complex. 
 Schizophrenia is better than dining alone. 
 Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one. 
 The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly. 
 The trouble with having an open mind is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. 
 There's nothing wrong with the average person that a good psychiatrist can't exaggerate. 
 What a terrible thing to have lost one's mind. Or not to have a mind at all. How true that is.