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My philosophy
like colour TV
is all there
in black and white
Monty Python

Quotes, Aphorisms, Laws, and Thoughts

66Country Songs99

All the Guys Who Turn Me On Turn Me Down
Pop Stoneman (1893-1968)

Although you're thirty, I still think you're purty.
Kinky Friedman (1944- )

And There was Grandma, Swingin' on the Outhouse Door, Without a Shirt On

At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self Service Pump
Weird Al Yankovic (1959- )

Does The Spearmint Lose Its Flavor On The Bedpost Overnight?
Billy Rose (1899-1966)

Four on the Floor and a Fifth Under the Seat
Trooper Jim Foster (1934-1996)

From The Gutter To You Ain't Up

Her Body Couldn't Keep You Off My Mind
Gene Watson (1943- )

Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart was Pure

How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
Dan Hicks (1941-2016)

I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?

I Can't Take Your Body If Your Heart's Not In It
Janie Fricke (1947- )

I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
Thom Sharp

I Flushed You From The Toilet Of My Heart
Johnny Cash (1932-2003)

I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2

I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better

I Would Have Answered Your Letter Sooner, But You Didn't Send One

I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonite

I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life

I'm old enough to know better but I'm still too young to care.
Wade Hayes (1969- )

I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Almost Like Having You Here

I'm Two Beers Away From a Beautiful Day.
Johnny Gimble (1926-2015)

I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You

If Drinkin' Don't Kill Me Her Memory Will

If I Can't Find Mister Right, I'll Settle For Mister Right Now

If I got a dollar for every time I thought about you, I'd probably start thinking about you

If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now

If I Had To Do It All Over Again, I'd Do It All Over You

If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me?
David & Howard

If The Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me
Jimmy Buffet (1946- )

If Today Was A Fish, I'd Throw It Back In

If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead?

If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?

If You Won't Leave Me Alone, I'll Find Someone Who Will

Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
Lou Monte (1917-1989)

My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him

She Got The Goldmine, I Got The Shaft
Jerry Reed (1937-2008)

She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
C. Gagnon / B. Lachenmyer

Take Your Tongue Out Of My Mouth, I'm Trying To Kiss You Goodbye
Waylon Jennings (1937-2002)

Tennis Must Be Your Racket 'Cause Love Means Nothin' To You

Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off
John Wiggins / Gary Hannan

Thanks To The Cathouse, I'm In The Doghouse With You
Max D. Barnes (1936-2004)

The Weather is Here, I Wish You Were Beautiful
Jimmy Buffet (1946- )

Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart

What Made Milwaukee Famous Has Made A Loser Out Of Me
Glenn Sutton (1937-2007)

You Are The North End Of A Southbound Pig

You Can't Deal Me All The Aces And Expect Me Not To Play

You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too

You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life

You're Out Doing What I'm Here Doing Without
Gene Watson (1943- )

You're Ruining My Bad Reputation

You're The Reason Our Kids Are Ugly
Kacey Jones

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